The same answer

I asked for an answer to solve the conflict in my mind.

How can I believe when I don't understand? When I don't understand the motive behind the action or the intention behind the word, how can I trust?

The answer is the same as always.

Love. Love first. Love persistently.

INVENTORY OF CONVICTIONS THAT GOD HAS BUILT INTO MY LIFE

Singleness is a gift to be honored, appreciated, capitalized upon. Jesus had it his entire life. Paul, the apostle had it and thought so much of it that he wished everyone had it. It offers unique advantages over being married that unmarried people have a responsibility to utilize to their greatest effect.

Every authority is appointed by God. God uses authorities to protect and provide for me. God requires me to obey and honor every authority in my life, familial, governmental, ecclesiastical, spiritual, and otherwise. I am currently learning that this may also include cultural.

Building and maintaining relationships characterized by love is always the main goal in any endeavor. While it is easier to achieve when all parties concerned share this same goal, my aim to achieve it does not change even if I am the only one in the relationship working towards that goal.

God is my Father more than He is my Master. My Father is good. My Father loves me. He can be trusted.

Don't be afriad to shine

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Nelson Mandela

Yo Momma

Another one from my favorite web comic strip, http://xkcd.com.

Just for a smile

I read this comic at the Web Parish blog and thought that it was funny enough to share. To enlarge the image, just click it.

5 Things I've never regretted

Loving God
Loving People
Dreaming BIG
Being Diligent
Being Patient

The Worshipper

To look long upon your loveliness
And be amazed.
Inspired to eschew lesser things
Not worthy of you.

- The Worshipper

Faith follows focus

This is a sermon in development. I would appreciate any suggestions on how to make the point clearer, or even if you think I'm making the wrong point entirely.
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"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the father, and i will do whatever you ask in my name, because the Son wants to bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."

-John 14:12-14

The issue isn't whether or not God is willing, it is whether I am willing to believe him. Now, this isn't a matter of me working myself into a fit of frenzy which will enable me to deny reality so i can have faith. Rather, faith follows focus.

This is most dramatically seen in romantic relationships. Think about a friend of yours. Someone who is hooked up with a guy or girl that doesn't seem right for them. They seem like they get on each others nerves and never agree. Your friend often confides in you how distressed they are about this relationship, but for some reason, they hold on. See, your friend is convinced that this will work. They Just know that if they hold on something will change. They have come to believe in this relationship because they have invested the time and effort imagining how good this can be. They have exalted this person in their minds to the point that they just know that all of the heartache will be worth it just to finally be able to have a good relationship with this person.

So, it is possible to come to believe in something just by keeping your focus on that thing. This thing will become a reality in your own mind and heart even if it is just your imagination or emotions getting the better of you. The difference between faith and believing in something just from your imagination or emotions is that faith is faith in God, his character and his promises as revealed by Scripture. You will grow in faith as you narrow in focus on these things.

This reveals the true danger of doing doubtful and sinful things. They distract us from focusing on God and we focus on our fears, our lusts, our status. When the time comes where we need to believe, then we may find that we can't. We can hope in God, but we can't believe from our heart. Our heart has been meditating elsewhere.

The promise stands that if we will believe, having faith in Jesus, He will accomplish that which we ask for in His name. Are you willing to believe? It will probably take more than a rote repetition of prayer. It will take a lifestyle of ever narrowed focus on living in light of the character and promises of God. This is what means to be a disciple.

So, are you willing to focus on Jesus, His character, His purpose, and His promise to develop the faith that it takes to believe from the heart?

Diminished

I am less important than I thought that I was. It was surprising and disappointing at first, but it was also calming.

Israel, Balaam and me- Pt4

It's been months since I started this. In Parts 1-3 I explored incidents where curses were placed on Israel and Balaam by accepting what God had granted them. (Read the previous posts for more info)

In this post I will draw conclusions about how their situation resembles my own at times. In each of these instances both Israel as a nation and Balaam as an individual were discontent with what God had given them. Israel did not like the food God gave them and became resentful and asked for meat. God told Balaam not to go with the king's men in answer to the king's request that he come and curse Israel. After the king offered to pay a much higher fee then Balaam went to God again hoping to receive a different answer.

In each case God permitted the request. Israel was given meat, and He told Balaam he could go with the king's men. Also, in each case there was a curse. Initially, this seemed unfair to me. If God gives permission for something then it is capricious or mean-spirited to punish people for doing that thing. However, it seems that this is the way that God does things. When, we refuse to be content to embrace his provision or his commands, and instead, pursue our lusts then He allows us to have what we want with the curse that attends it.

Below are a couple of other examples:

Divorce

Malachi 2

"16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself ^[a] with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."
Matthew 19:

"3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'^[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'^[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Sexual Immorality

Romans 1:

"22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done."


This is frightening to me. I can persist in asking God for somethings and get what I've asked for even though it isn't what He desires for me.

How will I know that I am doing what is right?
I'll stay close enough to know his heart and see it's reflection in my own.
I think that is what Jesus means by remaining in him.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John15:5

Sudoku

I just finished my first game of sudoku! This game is way more fun on the computer than it is using pencil and paper. Thank you GNOME Sudoku!

Easily Deceived

About this time every year, I make a concentrated effort to practice gratitude. I minimize the disappointment, regrets, and loses of the past 12 months, and I magnify all of the good things. Here is how I do it:

I remember God's comfort in pain and the lessons learned through trouble. I remember His promises and His character. I rejoice that I am His choice to be adopted into His family and that Jesus is not ashamed to call me brother.

I remember how much I enjoy friends and how precious the relationships in my life are. I decide to believe the best about people's motives. I remember how blessed I am to have so many friends.

I choose to believe the best about myself. I choose to forgive myself. I remember that my future is limited by my faith not by my failures. Then I choose to trust God.

Eventually, I begin to wonder how I could have spent any time being frustrated with myself, bitter at others, or suspicious of God. Then I remember how, I am simple minded and easily deceived.

Silly me

Made up mind

You could have asked!

You could have listened!

You could have cared!

I should have.
I thought I did.
I was trying to,
but I'd made up my mind before you spoke.

How to Pray-"Our Father"

Chase Bank had this slogan, "CHASE, where the right relationship is everything."

That slogan resonates because it reveals something we know is true throughout life. There are things that I have gotten because of a relationship that would not have otherwise been accessible to me. A number of years ago, I got a new car from my parents because I needed it to commute to work. Around that time though, my cousin also needed a car. My parents didn't get her one, not even an old beat up one. She wasn't less needy. She wasn't less deserving. She just wasn't their child.

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray (Luke 11:1-2), the first thing that He teaches them is that God is our Father. This means at least two things. The first and most obvious is that we can approach God with the love and respect that a child has for his father. The second is that God thinks of us with the special love and concern that a father has for his children. Because of that relationship, we should expect to get things that we don't deserve and be grateful for them.

We pray, not in the manner that an employee asks his boss for a raise or the way one appeals to a judge for a favorable ruling. It is more like a child asking his dad for some money to get a new toy or for school supplies. In prayer, the right relationship is everything.

Access: pre-pimped vs. Post-Pimped

Based on the Pimp My Life theme

Community: pre-pimped vs. Post-Pimped

Based on the Pimp My Life theme.

The Heart: pre-pimped vs. Post-Pimped

Based on the Pimp My Life theme.

The Spirit of power from the perspective of physics

I worked out this illustration a few weeks ago. I thought of preaching it, but was soundly discouraged by my co-worker, Alli, who thought it was too complicated. Tell me if this makes sense to you and if you think it is accurate:
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power = W/s = Fd/s = (ma)d/s

Force is not mass times velocity(mv) but mass times acceleration(ma). (mv) is moving an object at a constant velocity while (ma) means that the velocity or speed is ever increasing throughout the
distance. This is not just the ability to go long but the ability to get faster
and faster throughout the distance.

take gravity for example:
when a penny is dropped from a balcony on someone's head it makes an
impact. It hurts.
However, when a penny is dropped from the Empire State Building on
someone's head then it is lethal because the speed of that penny
increases each second that it is falling.

Now power is the ability to move something from here to there that much
faster. I can push a 100lb box 100yds, the length of a football field. I just
can't do it very quickly. But, I can load that into my car and can go
100yds that much faster because I have more power.

How does that relate to my identity in God
as a warrior? Through the Holy Spirit, you can take someone farther in
less time than would normally be possible on my own. What would
otherwise take years of counseling to help someone cope with, can take
months or even weeks by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Ongoing Paradigm Shift

Paradigm shift still in progress from Holiness focus to Loving God and people focus.

Consequences

Applied :
It's better to be confident at the risk of being proud, than to be self-abasing in pursuit of humility. I find that people need my confidence. So, I'm willing to risk pride. God has promised to oppose me if I am proud, and then, I'll know I've gone overboard and can make the correction.

Being Applied:
It's better to love at the risk of lusting than to combat desire at the expense of being seen as cold. Greater harm to others will result from perceived coldness from me than will come to me from occasionally lusting.

Under Consideration:
It is better to make an attractive presentation at the risk of being vain than to make a useful thing obscure and unappealing in an effort to avoid vanity.

The Israelites, Balaam, and me- Pt3

(You have little hope of comprehending the following if you don't read Pt2)

Considering both of these stories together, a new line of thinking occurs to me. Both the Israelites and Balaam were discontent with God's provision.

The Israelites were troubled by the memory of better conditions in slavery. So much so that they began to focus on how great they ate while being exploited and oppressed by Egyptian rulers instead of how great it was to be free with hope for a future being led by Father God.

Balaam already had an answer from God. The only thing that changed between the initial direction God gave him and his seeking further direction was the increased offer of compensation.

Balaam eventually proved that his motives were suspect. Though God would not alow him to curse Israel. Balaam counselled Balak on how to cause Israel to bring a curse on themselves by intermarrying with the Midianite women. He showed himself creative in technically following the command of God while still pursuing the true desire of his heart which was not to please God, loving what He loves and hating what He hates, but rather to secure the wealth and honor promised to him:

"While Israel remained at Shittim, the people began to play the harlot with the daughters of Moab. For they invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods. So Israel joine themselves to Baal of Peor, an the Lord was angry against Israel" (Numbers 25:1-3)

"Behold, [the Moabite women] caused the sons of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to trespass against the Lord in the matter of Peor, so the plague was among the congregation of the Lord. " (Numbers 31:16)

"And those who died by the plague were 24,000" (Numbers 25:9)

"forsaking the right way they have gone astray, having followed the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness, but he received an rebuke for his own transgression: for a dumb onkey, spealking with a voice of a man, restrained the madness of the prophet." (2Peter 2:15-16)

"Woe to them! For they have gone the way of Cain, and for pay they have rushed headlong into the error of Balaam, and perished in the rebellion of Korah." (Jude 11)

"But I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teahing of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit acts of immorality." (Revelations 2:14)

Intercession Interruption

It usually comes on me like a deep sadness and an oncoming hunger. I think first that I should eat or try to relax. Eating is unsatisfying and I can't relax. I am slightly agitated. Neither television, radio, nor the internet can divert my attention from the empty gnawing feeling in my gut, can lighten the heaviness in my heart, or cleanse the stickiness in my throat and mouth which will not easily agree to utter any words unless they are words of prayer.


When I do yield and pray, I feel sorrows and happiness and I see things that were, never were, will be, may never be, and things that are just underneath the apparent. I become content. I feel the indentation in my soul. I know I am being marked for something. I believe that it meant something. I wait actively, trusting, hoping, quietly. I am dependent.

Some times it takes creativity

from http://xkcd.com/

The Israelites, Balaam, and me- Pt2

(This is a continuation of the blog entry "The Israelites, Balaam, and me- Pt1. You should read that one first if you hope to understand this one.)

For the past 2-3 years, I've been doing devotionals by just read through the bible fro start to finish. It's a great way to do devotionals for me because I don't lose my place as easily as I would in a devotional guide, and I don't have to worry about misplacing my guide or getting off schedule. While I was reading, I came across a certain passage from the book of Numbers. It is the kind of story that brings up a lot of questions and accusations in my mind about God's character(see Pt1 ). It reminds me of another passage that has puzzled me, the story of the prophet Balaam. For him, God provided direction instead of food. He, like the Israelites, was dissatisfied with what God provided initially.

See, prominent delegates from a nearby kingdom came to him with gifts and a message from the king:

"A people that has come out of Egypt covers the face of the land. Now come and put a curse on them for me. Perhaps then, I will be able to fight them and drive them away. But God said to Balaam, 'Do not go with them..."(Numbers 22:11-12)


After Balaam refused them they went away for a while, but the king sent a larger contingent of higher level dignitaries back with a better offer. This was obviously very important to his majesty. The king thought enough of Balaam's abilities that he promised that Balaam would be rewarded with honor, wealth, and whatever else he asked for. In essence, he told him he would do whatever it took to get Balaam to render his services. In light of the new offer, Balaam went back to God to see if God would allow him to go:

"That night God came to Balaam and said, 'Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you' "(v. 20)

We see that God told him to go. Yet, two verses later, it seems that God just goes off on the guy:

"Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him." (v. 21-22)

The word "oppose" in this context apparently means to kill, end the life of, execute, or relieve from breathing. I know this because the angel says so:

"And the angel of the Lord said to him, ...Behold, I have come out as an adversary, because your way was contrary to me...I would surely ave killed you just now..."(v32-33)

Again, this passage has often caused me to wonder, "What the @&#?!" Balaam prayed, heard from God, and obeyed. Then, God gets enraged and orders a hit on him. How am I going to trust a God who abuses people when they obey him?

Investigator

Thanks Penny! This resembles me reasonbly well.

THE INVESTIGATOR:
Intense, Cerebral: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
In Search of: Mastery, to be capable, competent,

GIFTS: Exquisite sensitivity, and compassionate visionary.
One step beyond the cutting edge.

Sees Purpose in Life as: to know and understand the universe.

Gifts in Practice:
Deep burning laser-like concentration.
Pioneering visionary.
Perspective observer & curious.
Focused innovator - attracted to the exception to the rule.
Generous and discriminating to those who are interested.
Perceptive

Often Seen as:
Intense, cerebral type: focused, original, withdrawn, seen as shy,
eccentric, 'nerds,' 'weirdoes,' intensely pre-occupied.
Experts in specific ('unique' and specialized) areas into which they go deep.
Quirky off-beat sense of humour; very sensitive.
Unperturbed by 'fashion,' collecting.
Studious -in search of mastery.
Intense conceptualizer. Plays the 'what if' game.
Often walk - without the whole foot touching.

Wake-Up Call: moving inside mental world, away from reality

Wrong Turn: to be observant & bring capacity & agency using the mind.

Compulsive Style: Pre-occupied: pre-occupied often with the dark aspects; scornful, cynical, impatient with others. Isolated, secretive.

Emotional Habit Pattern that maintains the Compulsive Style:
Avarice, stinginess; holding out and holding onto.

Fear: being useless, helpless, incapable;
can't make it in the world, being overwhelmed.

Avoids: emptiness

Defense Mechanism:
Compartmentalization: separates thoughts from emotions.
Isolation: separates one moment /event /... from another.

CHALLENGE: to show up in an embodied way: can't know the world from mind alone / through thinking (leads to spaciousness & trust).

E.g.s.: Albert Einstein, F. Nietzche, Stephen Hawking, John Lennon, Vincent Van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, Jodie Foster, Wilhelm Reich, Stephen King, Bill Gates, Emily Dickenson, Georgia O'Keefe, Jean-Paul Sarte, James Joyce, lsaac Newton, Doris Lessing, Bobby Fischer, Glenn Gould, Isaac Asimov, Clive Barker, P.E. Trudeau, Lois Riel, "Ricky" in American Beauty, John Nash (in A Beautiful Mind), August Strindberg.

Thembalitsha Missions Trip

Yesterday, I drove to Atlanta to drop off a missions team from our church at the airport. About 14 of our church members are going to visit with Pastor Frank and Kate Christie and volunteer to serve the Thembalitsha Foundation, a community development organization they founded to serve disadvantaged areas of South Africa. You can track their progress at this photo blog.

The Israelites, Balaam, and me- Pt1

The Israelites were getting discontent. Their Father God was fulfilling a promise to their ancestor Abraham by freeing them from slavery and making them a nation of their own in a territory he had chosen for them centuries before (Gen 15:2-16). He had freed them in His signature inimitable fashion causing the world superpower, Egypt their former oppressors, to finance the establishment of their nation. After making them wealthy, He was caring for their needs in this interim period before they received their own territory. However, God's provision became to them unsatisfactory. It was too plain and had become too common. They longed for the variety of tasty food they had in Egypt:

"...If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at not cost- also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite: we never see anything but this manna!"(Numbers 11:4-6)

Father God allowed them the thing that they desired, He gave them meat:

"Now a wind went out from the Lord and drove quail in from the sea. It brought them down all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction." (v. 31)

However, this meat was like poison for them:

"But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consume, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague." (v. 33)

This has been a passage that has always puzzled me. Why would God give them something that He knew would hurt them? Even more than that, He gave them something that he would strike them for receiving. That hardly seems fair, just, or even comprehensible. Why would God be so impulsive and irrational? Frankly, I'm afraid of a God who poisons people.

In Focus

I have never been a part of a church that modeled a spirit of gentleness. I have had pastors who could be gentle, and I've experienced gentleness in other churches. Never before, have I experienced a consistent theme of gentleness in every communication from the church or church leaders as I have since I became a part of the leadership team here at In Focus church.

It is refreshing and encouraging to never feel mandated, pushed, driven, inspected, evaluated, or pressured aside from the pressure that I put on myself. I haven't known how to react to it so far. For a while I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, not believing that it people could be so genuinely nice. I made demands on myself above what was asked of me thinking that, perhaps, people weren't being straight with me and were holding me to undisclosed standards.

I'm now resolved to try to enjoy it, if I can.

Trusting God for less

I was trusting my Father for too much. It was careless of me. Because I trusted for too much, I regarded His record of faithfulness a bit tarnished. I am beginning to realize my error, and it isn't the first time I have made it. I was trusting His love to do what He never promised His love had given. In trusting his love for less, I feel I can trust His love more.


How Deep the Father's Love for us
by Stuart Townsend

How deep the Father's love for us,
how vast beyond all measure

That he should give his only son,
to make a wretch his treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
the Father turned his face away

As wounds which mar the chosen one,
bring many sons to glory


Behold the man upon a cross,
my sin upon his shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held him there
until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life;
I know that it is finished


I will not boast in anything:
no gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ:
his death and resurrection

Why should I gain from his reward?
I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart:
his wounds have paid my ransom

Hope Fearlessly Excerpt IV

This message was a long one, but this is the final installment of this series of posts. It is more of a patchwork than the previous posts, but I think the content is still good. I basically left myself room to wing it so my notes are sketchy.

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There are at least 3 interrelated enemies to hope that you will have to face time and again. They are the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, and accusations against God, yourself, and others.

fear of rejection- What if no one supports me? What if I'm misunderstood?

There are two things about the fear of rejection. On the one hand, it is true that you will be rejected in life. I know because Jesus was rejected. Not everyone received his message with joy. Some were offended because of Him. There was a group of religious leaders called the Pharisees who tried to embarrass Him. They tried to silence Him. So, if God in flesh was rejected, what hope have we but the same. John 15:20 tells us the world hated him before it hated you. You will be rejected.


On the other hand, rejection isn't that bad. It is a normal part of life. If you've ever tried to sell candy for a school fundraiser, you know that not everyone wants to support you. Rejection becomes a problem because of insecurity. If who you are is defined by what you think other people think about you, then you will go out of your way to have people like you. Not everyone will like you or will endorse the dreams or desires God has put in your heart. Fear of rejection may also come from a wrong sense of obligation. The only person whose apporval you need is God's.

When God told Peter, a Jew, to go to the house of Cornelius, a gentile, a lot of people had a problem with that. peter had a problem with that. He did it in obedience to God despite the likely prospect of the disapproval of others. This raises an interesting point, you don't even need your own approval. Some things may not agree with your temperament or personality but are required for the success of the desire that God has given you.

fear of failure- What if I mess up? What if I lose? What if it doesn't work? I failed last time I tried; what makes this any different?

Can be a result of pride which honors appearance over obedience
The kindness of God gives us freedom to fail. He is not an impatient abusive taskmaster who will grind you into powder when you mess up. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. When you were God's enemy not even trying to do right, God was for you. How much more now?

accusation- is God really going to honor this promise? Did He really say that?
Are the promises of God true? Did you really hear God? Does anyone really understand? Do they even care?

That's when you have to believe the best. You'll suffer more from blocking something good than from letting in something bad.I'm not talking about when you know it's wrong and do it anyway. but, when you aren't sure. feel free to try. Trust God to guide you. If you take a wrong turn listen to the Holy spirit telling you to stop and turn around.


Since I love God, I will hope in him. Though it takes time, though accusations have come, I will trust God to satisfiy the desires of my heart. I will HOPE FEARLESSLY.