Access

There exist requests which will not be granted on the basis of relationship,but will be granted because my persistence in asking. Though, my relationship may give me access to make the request. This is true in my relationships with other people, and it is true in my relationship with my Father.

Lu 11:
5 And He said to them, "Which of you shall have a friend, and go to him at midnight and say to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves;
6 'for a friend of mine has come to me on his journey, and I have nothing to set before him';
7 "and he will answer from within and say, 'Do not trouble me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give to you'?
8 "I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs.
9 "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
10 "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

I didn't suck!

For the past eight years, I have felt like I was a failure in college. I did not do as well as I wanted. I have at times considered that I spent too much time and effort in church and ministry activities distracting me from my academic work.

Now, I realize that I've been tripping for the past eight years. I just looked at my transcript from school, and in fact, I finished with a B-. That isn't outstanding, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. Add to that, I made significant contributions to grow a fledgling church and campus ministry. While I was not a great student or even a very good student, I didn't suck!

Cold

My brother reminded me last week that I am cold. He has mentioned this before as have some other friends of mine. I always took it as a complement. I thought that they meant cold as in decisive, practical, and resolute.

This time when he called me cold, though, it was more like he meant insensitive, abrasive, and unemotional. After considering this for a few days, I have to admit that he's not all wrong. I must also confess that cold is not a good thing. Jesus, my big brother and role model, was not cold. I'll have to talk to Dad about that one. I'm sure He will help me make the adjustment.

Give it away

I started to become unreasonable about 8yrs ago. At least I became significantly more unreasonable. Through a series of circumstances and with the influence of people I respected, I got the idea that I should give my life away. I began to talk with Father about what I could do to give it away. I wanted to do it to honor Him . So, I thought to ask what would He be most satisfied with. Some people think it's ridiculous to let your Father have so much control in your life, but what can I say? I'm a Daddy's boy.

Sometimes Dad is a little mysterious about answering these sort of questions. He's pretty good at getting your attention when He wants it. He's started fires, made people crazy, sent messages special delivery by really scary looking guys. I was hoping He would work hard to get my attention focused on the right things. He didn't . I had to keep bugging Him, reflecting on things He'd already told me, and examining my performance and enjoyment with the volunteer activities I was already involved in. Our conversation on this matter resulted in my being convinced that I could best give my life away by becoming a professional recruiter/marketer/promoter for a very famous man.

The position may seem prestigious, and it is, but it is also an unpaid position. After spending 5.5 years in college and becoming the only one in my family to graduate, my decision only brought confusion to my parents. They thought my intentions were honorable, noble, and charitable, but my choice they thought misguided. They've been lovingly supportive while making their opinions clear.

They don't understand what I do. It is pretty countercultural to work for free. It seems to them be poor judgement at best and irresponsible at worst. I think I'm being very responsible. I'm responding to my Father's voice and my Father's heart as best I can understand it. I'm still learning how to give my life away. I might be doing it the wrong way; there may be a better way. I'm not doing the wrong thing.

No regrets.


mark 10:28-31; mark 8:35; matthew 6:33

Security

I am my Father's son. I did not merit this position. This is not an honor awarded to those found worthy. I am His son. This is based on His initiative involving my response. I am chosen. My relationship as a son is based on my Father not on me. I cannot disgrace my way out of the relationship by bringing my family shame. Lack of productivity may cost me income, benefits, and rewards, but it will never affect my sonship. Failure may hurt my pride. Happenstance may disappoint. Promises I'll break, and promises to me will be broken. I will be then as I am now and as I have been since my birth into forever life, my Father's son.

1peter 1:23; john 3:16-18; 1tim2:11-13;eph1:5;gal4:4-6

Themes for the summer were

Love Courageously

Hope Fearlessly

Productive Pain

Derived Significance

His death gives me life
His life gives me hope
His love gives me meaning
His will gives me purpose

How, not What

I seem to be learning something. It seems like a thing I once knew something about, but then forgot much of. I won't know if I am really learning until I'm tested, but what I seem to be learning is the following:

How I live and how I pursue goals is more important than what I pursue. It is even more important than the success of the pursuit. Also, how I react to situations is significantly more important than the circumstances themselves.

How to Hate

In order to hate someone, alienation is the key. You must first refer to them as something inhuman. Call someone a rat, cockroach, piece of trash, or other thing you consider worthless. If you do this well enough, you can redefine this person or group or people as worthless in and of themselves and will no longer have to relate them to something else to hate them. In the future, you may enable yourself to hate new persons or groups by thinking of them just like you thought of the previous group you learned to hate. Alienation is essential. Before killing, no one says, "This is my brother no different than myself."

For sustatinable hatred between groups of people apply the above techniques and begin a cycle of violence. This may be very difficult if the group to be hated is very peaceful and meek. Keep trying, eventually someone in the group should crack.

Inactive God

"Apart from the natural and spiritual laws He established to govern creation, God acts in the realm of human affairs exclusively by proxy. Except by the faith of someone expressed by prayer, pronouncement, action or some other means, God makes no alteration in circumstances no matter how unjust."


I suspect this is true. If I conclude it is, then it will have significant repercussions to my life and of those I minister too as I apply it. It will only take one counterexample from scripture to disprove it, though. Do you know of one?

Coward

coward

n 1: a person who shows fear or timidity

I notice that when I direct love inward I prioritize self preservation for its own sake. This results in avoiding risky behavior such as acts born of caring deeply for others, and I tend to seek comfort and consider those my enemies who disturb that comfort. In that frame of mind, fear becomes reasonable expectation and timidity caution. Preserving oneself is necessary to be available to serve others , but is futile as an end unto itself.

The following scripture got me started thinking about the consequences of being timid and fearful:
Re 21:8 "But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

So, not only is the coward less useful to others, but he is also subject to severe judgement. Obviously, fearfulness is not a slight sin but a grave offense. When I read that eight years ago it shook me. I thought I needed more hugs and comforting words to push me out of self pity and discouragement. I needed a stern warning.