Here are the clues I think I got

Thanks Mike for reminding me that I failed to mention the clue I got from that 5 hr drive I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. As I said in that post, I'm generally pretty clueless when it comes to the fairer sex. However on that drive, as I sat in the car those two women discussing what it means to be feminine, I think I got one. In fact, maybe I got two. The first is, I think, linked closely with the second. They are attention and approval. What I understand that to mean is described below.

Attention: They need a lot of it. This may includes a lot of talking to, listening to, touching, acts of kindness, etc. Basically, they have a greater desire to have a big fuss made over them. I used to think that was due to vanity, maybe, it's insecurity. Perhaps, it's just by design. If it is by design, then there are probably some good things that result from the need for attention.

Approval: They need it constantly. They want to know they are valued and accepted as is especially with respect to physical features, emotional fluctuations, and personality quirks. It helps them to be assured and reassured of this approval. This is the purpose that the attention serves.

If you are a woman, and/or you have access to one, I'd love to hear your opinion. I could be off here. If I am off and I've angered you, please keep the swearing in your comments to a minimum.

Friends

Until a few months ago, I think I was living the christian version of the sitcom "Friends." I was living within a 10 minute walk of 6-8 of my closest friends. Most of the group had lived together as roomates or neighbors for at least 3yrs and some as long as 5yrs. We had lots of funny stories about each other. We dropped in unannounced and went in each other's refridgerators. Okay, there was never very much in mine, but they were free to go through it anyway. In our version, we also worked/volunteered with each other in the same campus ministry and went to the same church.

We knew each others quirks. We knew how to work with one another. We knew how to work around each other. We knew the strengths and weaknesses of each. We lived together, worked together, celebrated together, laughed together. We didn't always get along; there were fights between us. Okay, they had fights between them. I refereed. How could anyone not get along with a sweet guy like me?

Now I live a more typical American adult life. This means that I live at least barely know the people that I work and go to church with. I live too far away to to drop in on anyone I'd like to be close with. The typical American adult life sucks.

One more thing bounded emotions

One observation from that car trip was the contrasting ways we seemed to approach managing one's emotions. The women in the vehicle seemed to have as a goal to live with appropriate boundaries around their emotions or at least their emotional responses like the upper and lower bounds on y = sin(x). It has been my practice to try to match my emotions and/or my emotional responses to that which I believe is appropriate in a given situation like the way the limit of y approaches 0 as x goes to infinity in the function y = 1/x. I'm not sure if this observation is characteristic of women and men respectively, but I found that contrast interesting to ponder.

We return home today, and we're adding another woman to the car. It should be interesting

boss and friend

My big brother and I have an oscillating relationship. He is my boss as well as my friend. I sometimes have trouble seeing him as both friend and boss. Sometimes I treat of him as a boss and desire to do the best work for him that I can. Other times I just want to hang out and get to know him better. He's great at both and I'd hate to lose him in either capacity. Right now I need a friend.

What's this, a clue?

Yesterday, I completed a 5.5 hr drive with two women. Being in a confined space with two women is generally a no no for me. But I made and exception. Once the conversation turned towards the meaning of femininity, I thought that perhaps I'd overestimated my environmental estrogen tolerance level.

It was somewhat enlightening though. If you know me at all, then you know that I am relatively clueless about women. I know I'm clueless because several times I thought that I had some clues, but sisters in my life have been kind enought to correct my misconceptions. More than half the time I just nod knowingly. Honestly, I've just been getting by on some female management techniques I picked up from an old creole friend of mine.

Yesterday, though, I think I may have stumped my foot on a clue.

Tertius

In the entire bible he is mentioned only once:

I, Tertius, who wrote donw this letter, greet you in the Lord.
-Romans 16:22

Throughout Romans, you get no clue that this guy is writing the letter. Not until the last chapter, four verses from the end do we even know that anyone other than Paul is responsible for writing the letter. Then he inserts his name, "I, Tertius."

He was the guy who took dictation for Paul, and his name is memorialized in the most significant book in the world. Did Tertius know he was helping to write the New Testament which would become the basis of faith and practice for believers for thousands of years? Perhaps, he was simply serving from a humble heart.

As I was finishing this book yesterday, reading his name served to remind me that God recognizes and rewards the little things that we do for Him. I'm so glad that my Father remembers the small details. No good deed goes unrewarded. Nothing we do for Him is ever wasted. It isn't a waste of time, nor of effort, nor of finances to serve my Father or His children, my brothers and sisters.