Thanks Mike for reminding me that I failed to mention the clue I got from that 5 hr drive I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. As I said in that post, I'm generally pretty clueless when it comes to the fairer sex. However on that drive, as I sat in the car those two women discussing what it means to be feminine, I think I got one. In fact, maybe I got two. The first is, I think, linked closely with the second. They are attention and approval. What I understand that to mean is described below.
Attention: They need a lot of it. This may includes a lot of talking to, listening to, touching, acts of kindness, etc. Basically, they have a greater desire to have a big fuss made over them. I used to think that was due to vanity, maybe, it's insecurity. Perhaps, it's just by design. If it is by design, then there are probably some good things that result from the need for attention.
Approval: They need it constantly. They want to know they are valued and accepted as is especially with respect to physical features, emotional fluctuations, and personality quirks. It helps them to be assured and reassured of this approval. This is the purpose that the attention serves.
If you are a woman, and/or you have access to one, I'd love to hear your opinion. I could be off here. If I am off and I've angered you, please keep the swearing in your comments to a minimum.
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5 comments:
@%$&*** !!!! Just teasing...
I think you definitely did get a clue. Those two things are very important to most women. I think they can be summed up like this:
God is both strong and beautiful.
Men often display God's glory through their strength. Women often display God's glory through their beauty. (Not that women can't be strong or men beautiful, but you get the point).
Additionally, strength and beauty can come in different forms. Men strive for strength physically, intellectually, or in jockeying for power and position.
Likewise beauty can be exhibited through external features, emotional integrity or compassionate acts.
Since God displays part of His glory through beauty and also designed women to demonstrate His beauty, we as the female gender, do love to receive affirmation of our beauty even as God desires to be worshiped and adored for the beauty of His holiness.
I think that women certainly desire approval but probably in a much different form than men desire it. Certainly, we desire our exterior to be approved of but it really goes much, much deeper than that. We want to feel approved of at the core of our beings because the reality is that both beauty and strength fade (in the physical sense). Only in the non-physical sense can both beauty and strength grow with time.
That's all for me...
Hey Reg, that's very enlightening. I've come up with a formula that I think expresses your theory elegantly.
a1 x a2 / t1 = hq
where:
a1 = minutes of attention
a2 = statements of approval
t1 = time elapsed since last occurance of an a1 or a2 event, and
hq = happiness quotient
The value hq can serve as a benchmark, to identify the minimum values of a1 and a2 necessary to establish and maintain domestic tranquility.
This is all theoretical, as I lack access to a woman to test this hypothesis on. I'm currently working on a formula to address this anomaly, but the results so far have been unsatisfactory.
I like the way you think mike. One thing that comes to mind is the goal should be an hq range. The desirable range will vary depending on the type of relationship.
Ex) your wife's hq range will be different than your daughter's.
maybe you can get this tested with the family you're staying with to refine your equation.
reg: everyone wants to be honored, man or woman. that looks differently for a man than for a woman. I think this is where Christ nudges us along to offer ourselves up to what we don't exactly understand and serve the other person. you know the scripture, "your joy is my joy, your sorrow, mine" it goes something like that...i think every woman has their own personal level of need for attention, and i think that manifests differently for every woman. A pretty steadfast rule though: every woman wants to be seen as beautiful.
mike: why must we encourage mathematical analogies on our friend reggie??? doesn't he think this way for both of us ;) and then some...
okay i have to get back to work i have procrastinated enough
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